I got turned down for a job this morning. I was really excited about this job and even had a great interview under my belt. I read the rejection email, and in normal fashion, I sucked in a breath and braced myself. For what? I don't know, I guess to continue on with life. Rising to face another day where I'm not sure what the next step is.
I walked towards my husband who was in the other room and said, "I didn't get the job." I expected to hear him say "I'm sorry" so my "braced" self was prepared to say, "No big deal, God has a plan." After that I thought I would go about "doing" something so the hurt, disappointment, and pain couldn't settle on me. What else am I supposed to do when faced with another door locked to my touch?
My husband silently walked towards me and wrapped his arms around me and the only thing he said was, "I love you." At the tenderness of his words, I was disarmed by love. My attempt at having strength to face another deferred hope crumbled at the tone in his voice. He held me and God's love fell on me. No matter what this day holds or what the questions are that I have about this often hard to bear life we all live, our Lord longs for us to hear those words that He is speaking to us, "I love you."
I cried then. In the arms of love I couldn't help but grieve the loss of a hope I was holding. Some of us are bearing heavy loads of hopes lost today. No matter how small or big your hope seems, He cares.
My prayer for you today is this:
Instead of feeling like you must brace yourself against this life, I pray you would find yourself disarmed by love. I pray that in that moment today when you hear your God silence everything within as well as outside of you with three simple words that you would grieve safely inside of His love.
He knows you have questions. He knows you have doubts. He knows you are afraid. He knows.
Yet, His answer remains the same. Close your eyes and listen with your heart, dear ones.
"I LOVE YOU."
Today hasn't been all that bad, I was rejected by the world today, but I was hugged by the love of Heaven.