Finding Nemo Faith

Photographer Unknown

I struggle with fear. Anxiety, panic, an irrational thought or two, these are not unfamiliar terms to me. To many of you, I would guess they are more familiar than you'd like to admit.

Fear is often like an unspoken elephant in the room, especially with people of faith. In reality, no one can see your elephant, but in the midst of a fearful moment you would swear your elephant was trumpeting loudly and wearing neon shorts. Yet, as you drown in your own fear looking for a life line and not wanting to reach out a hand, life goes on around you, totally unaware.

For some reason, it is assumed that if we have faith we do not have fear. We secretly sit in condemnation when we feel afraid in situations where we should have faith, hoping those around us don't see our palms sweating and judge us for not believing enough in God.

I don't think it's that we don't believe enough in God, but more so that the place in which we have grounded our faith may not be secure. Let me explain.

A week or so ago, my husband was having a rough day. I love my husband dearly and my heart ached that he was having a hard time. I wanted to do something to encourage him. I took a moment from the work I was doing and looked in my Bible. I thought that maybe I could find a verse to text him. I flipped open to the psalms and landed on Psalm 91.  One verse in particular poked my heart.

¹⁴ “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
 I will protect him, because he knows my name."

I saw this...

¹⁴ “Because he holds fast to me IN LOVE, I will deliver him;    I will protect him, because he knows my name.

Sometimes, well let me be honest, most of the time I can't explain how this book, the Bible, changes something in me. It's like it nudges my heart and life squeezes in. As I read those words, all I could think about was all the times I have "held fast" to God in total fear and panic. 

I didn't feel like God was shaking his finger and saying, "Shame, shame." I did feel like he was saying, "I love you." I began to think about how different my life would look if I "held fast" to God in love instead of fear. What would that look like?

For the sake of bringing some humor to the subject, watch this short clip:

I think this is one of my favorite movies of all time, by the way. The thing I noticed that I want to relate to this issue of holding fast in love versus fear is that Dory holds fast in love while Marlin holds fast in fear. Look at the poor guy, he's terrified. 

I've been there. In that place where you question everything. Where you can't even take in what's going on around you, let alone listen to anything because fear is making you blind and deaf. Marlin exhibits much of what we do when we are afraid: anger, despair, outbursts of rage, irrational thoughts. And then, we have Dory.

Dory is holding fast too, but she is listening. She is able to listen because she trusts the voice is telling her the truth. She doesn't question that she can trust it. She knows it's not promising a perfect life with no troubles, but she knows the voice is speaking something that is for her. She speaks whale after all, and like she speaks whale, we as believers speak the language of faith. 

We all have been given the ability to hear God's voice through His word and through the love of others. Yet, how often are we paralyzed and forget the language that is love?

Dory enjoys life. Marlin survives it. 

I continue to be challenged in my own faith that God wants me to live out of an assurance of love, rather than a response to fear.

This is what God says FAITH is:

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

Do we have fear sometimes in our faith? Sure, we are not perfect. But we also hold to the conviction that the hope in our hearts is true and real and guaranteed. Our faith may fail, but the object of our faith, Jesus Christ, will not. He can be counted on.

Our faith will be secure if it rises from the foundation of knowing the love of God and trusting in His love for us. His love never promises that there will be no trouble or pain, but it does promise that love will be with us and carry us through to the other side. 

You can't control the ride or where it goes, but you can decide how you are going to ride it.

So, from one Marlin to another, let's try to be a little more Dory this week. Grab your exit buddy and hang on for the ride. "Hold fast!" That means clip on and rest secure in the one you are attached to. 

No matter what happens along the way, the love of our lives is at the other end. 

Going for it,
Aimee

Holy, Known, Made

I'm reading in the book of Ephesians right now, and this morning my eyes stopped on one word, the word BLESSED. I couldn't help but think that I hear and see this word all the time and yet, if someone were to walk up to me and say, "Hey you, define the word blessed for me," I probably couldn't do it. I'd most likely fumble through what I thought it meant or use examples of it in sentences that made sense to me, but the actual definition? Yeah, the brain was blank.

So I defaulted to something I've been doing lately. I've been trying to pick out a word as I read the Bible and not just assume I know what it means. So, being the inquisitive woman I am, I looked up the word blessed.

Holy, consecrated.

Ok, then I looked up consecrated, and you can see where this is going...

BLESSED: Holy, consecrated
HOLY: Specially recognized as or declared sacred by authority
CONSECRATED: To make or declare sacred, set apart with purpose

Yep, this is what I love about God's word. I hadn't barely gotten in a few sentences when things got deep.

All of these words have nothing to do with my own choosing, but they have everything to do with what God wanted to do with my life.

The word of God says we are BLESSED. God is the authority, he has given me special recognition, and he has declared me sacred and set apart for a purpose.

I personally think this is pretty awesome. Think about it, the God who does stuff like part the sea, raise people from the dead, and bring life where there is only death is the same God who decided to choose me, not as servant or slave, but as a daughter.

Ephesians tells us that he chose us to be adopted into the family of God through his son, Jesus. I like this. That means that in God's family you will never find an only child. It means God's house is a place where you are valued more for who and whose you are rather than what you can or should do. It means that the Father of the home has always had a plan and a purpose for his family and is committed to carrying it out. Pretty awesome stuff.

As I sat down later in the afternoon to think on this word blessed, I decided to go to the Wordle website and make a collage of words that have to do with being blessed and words that are found in the first fourteen verses of Ephesians. Up above is what came of that creative endeavor.

Three of the words that stood out to me were: Holy, Known, Made

God declares I am holy because he is holy and his family is a holy household.
God gently reminds me that I am known by him, he calls me by my name.
God declares that I am not an accident, but that I was made in my mother's womb by his very own hand and that as he made me he was purposeful in doing so.

See what reading a few verses in his word can do? My heart is encouraged. I'm so thankful that he nudged me to take the time today.

My friend, I have a challenge for you. Read the verses below slowly, but then take time to look at the picture of words at the top of this blog post. See what pops out at your heart and mind and then think on those things.

I pray he delights your heart as he did mine.

As I go, I won't say be blessed, but I'll say to you that YOU ARE BLESSED.  He has declared it and God's words cannot be changed.

Aimee

Ephesians 1:1-14
English Standard Version (ESV)

1 Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God,

To the saints who are in Ephesus, and are faithful in Christ Jesus:

2 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, 8 which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight 9 making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ 10 as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

11 In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, 12 so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. 13 In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

My Birthday!!!

Today is my birthday! 

I woke up this morning and my sweet mister handed me a Starbucks coffee. I love my husband and his special gestures. In honor of my birthday we had someone else make our coffee. Ha! My parents also gave me a sweet card and gift and even my golden retriever kicked a card my way. She is very talented. 

Today I feel content that life is going in a positive direction. I am trying to find peace with myself in the midst of the craziness of this life. And I've decided that this year I want to enjoy, with more freedom, this life I've been given. 

I realized that those three things match up with what this blog is all about. It is a place for me to share about my romance with God, His word, and His creation and hopefully in turn, encourage you in these same areas.  

In honor of my own birthday and in honor to God for giving me more time with all you wonderful people, the below are some things that reflect what this blog, and hopefully my life is all about. 

I'm keeping it simple because I'm about to be taken out to breakfast, but please enjoy some pictures I've taken recently, enjoying relationship and creation.  Have a wonderful day and even if it's not your birthday, celebrate your life!  It's a precious gift!

Enjoy the people in your life and be fully present with them! We were made for relationship, so be brave and let yourself be known. Take the time to truly know them too, each life is a gift with so much to offer.

 

Take time for this book. It isn't a book of rules to follow, it is the most beautiful love letter from a wonderful God to his children. He wanted you to be able to know who He truly is...and if you don't know where to start, start at the beginning. That's what I'm doing... 

Let yourself enjoy God's creation. He put a lot of beauty and adventure out there for us to enjoy. Stop for a moment, gaze upon a sunrise or an animal's eyes, or the clouds in the sky. Then give him some joy by clapping your hands at his marvelous works. 

Be blessed dear friends, thank you for visiting my blog!

The birthday girl

Snow Joy

I’m a Colorado girl through and through and today’s snow rocked! I love snow and as this blog is about three things, one of which is my romance with God’s creation, I wanted to share with you some of what I experienced today. I pray some of what God shared with me will be something that brings joy to you as well. Thank you for visiting my blog.

Driving home today, I saw this beautiful girl grazing away. 

I pulled to the side of the road and watched her for awhile. 

I love this kind of snow. It's the kind that makes the arms of the trees reach downward. 

I love how accomplished I feel when I can look backward and see a clean row of no snow. 

Shoveling is so satisfying. Plus, it makes you buff. Really. I'm sore and everything.

So, as I was shoveling and talking to God and thanking Him that I wasn't even cold, I felt the need to turn around. I looked behind me, taking my time looking at the snow covered neighborhood, and then I saw him. I was being spied on by this big boy.

Isn't he HANDSOME?!  I kept telling him so. 

He stayed awhile, eating the bush one bite at a time, and keeping watch over me. 

                     

Here I am drinking some hot chocolate (mostly eating the whipped cream off the top) and staying warm. My sweet mister is sick right now, but he still braved the cold to give me this sweet nectar. Love him.

Finally, what heavy snowfall Colorado day would be complete without a proper snow angel? 

Yes, I'm in my late 30's and I'm making a snow angel. You should try it. 

It will bring that childlike spirit right back! I don't remember the last time I did that, but it was glorious!

Dear Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you for the way the small flakes this morning were followed by big heavy flakes that left soft white blankets behind. 

Thank you for bringing that huge buck into my yard. 

Thank you for a husband who cares so tenderly for me. 

Thank you for keeping me company and keeping me warm while I shoveled. 

And, thank you for enough snow to fall into and wave my arms and legs at Heaven. I love you.  

My 500 Words A Day Challenge: Day 13

My 500 Words A Day Challenge, Day 13 Prompt:

TELL US ABOUT YOUR DAY
Prompt given by writer, Jeff Goins. 

(Save this assignment for the evening — or write about yesterday.

This is, basically, a journal entry but with a twist: make your day sound interesting.)

I turned to look at my husband and my lips pouted and my eyes drooped. It was coming to the end of another day in which I had not written anything and I was feeling like a failure.

“What’s the matter my love?” We stood around the island in my parent’s kitchen and his sweet smile stopped me.

“I’m supposed to be doing a 500 words a day challenge to build a good writing habit and I’m not doing so well. I need to do this tonight!  I have to!  What am I going to write about?”

“Costco?” My husband grinned. I didn’t.

“Costco? I don’t know. That doesn’t sound so fun at the moment.”

He walked out of the kitchen and began hooking the dog to her leash. I followed him looking for inspiration and then it came to me.

“I know! You take the dog out and you think of a word! When you come back in, you tell me that one word without saying anything else. And I will take it from there! This will be fun.”

“Ok, my dear.” The love of my life put his fleece hat on, shrugged into his burly tan coat and out the door he went. I took a deep breath and sat down in a chair by the door, waiting, wondering what he was going to come up with. He’d help me for sure.

So, what was the one word? I know you are as anxious to hear what he came up with as I am. The flashlight he was carrying shone through the window signaling his return and I scooted to the edge of the cozy red chair. Sydney, our golden retriever rushed in with the burst of cold winter air with my husband quick on her heels. I waited. He removed his hat, hung his coat in the closet and walked my way.   

He bent over, placing his hands on my shoulders with a reassuring squeeze.  “Love.”

I leaned back in the chair and looked at him in disbelief. “Are you serious? That is such a broad topic! Awwww man!” He continued to stand there, not saying another word per the rules.

“Ok, I’ll do it.” I shrugged my shoulders and stood up trying to bring courage with me.

“You can do it my love.” Again, he gave me that sweet smile that holds pure confidence in my calling to write. There was no doubt in his gaze to meet the insecurity in my own. With eyes twinkling, he walked away.  

I took a deep breath and returned to the kitchen where I made dinner and thought about my word, love. I stirred the potatoes and sprinkled them with precision with garlic powder and parsley. I stared into the steam that consistently was rising out of the pot of carrots. I even browned the sausages, turning them ever so gently as they sizzled, and through it all, I thought about love.

“Dinner’s ready!” I yelled and seconds later Sydney the dog was snuggling my thigh in case I dropped something. Her brown eyes were expecting that I would surely sneak her something. My Mom came in and filled water glasses. My Dad came in, sat in his chair and thanked me for making dinner. My husband was last to come in, hugging me from behind and kissing my cheek as I plated the food.

As we sat down and I heard my husband begin to pray, I couldn’t help but peek and take a look at him. My heart warmed at his belief in me and his willingness to play along as I figure out ways to reach my writing goals.  I glanced at my parents and felt the warmth of their home. And then, I saw my laptop. It was plugged in and waiting to be used as a tool to tap failure into victory.

My prompt was to write about my day and then my husband further prompted me with love, but not just the word.

I looked at my family, write about love? Yep, I can do that.

And here I am, at the end of today’s challenge, with everyone sleeping soundly in their beds and me about to close the lid on this laptop. 763 words?  So what if it’s midnight? I made it and that’s victory.

Until tomorrow…goodnight.  

Eating Memories

http://www.browneyedbaker.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/ginger-cookies-last.jpg

Have you ever eaten a memory?

I just did.

I lifted the gluten free ginger cookie to my lips and never expected to find myself childlike and young in my Grandma’s kitchen again. With one taste, I could see it all. My grandma standing there in her kitchen and on the counter top to the left, jars lined up where cookies waited for me and my brother and cousins. Sugar cookies, peanut butter cookies and ginger cookies, oh my!

Her floured apron, her wrinkled fingers reaching for our cheeks to give us big smooches, and her cookies, let us know we were home and that we were welcome. Grandma would laugh as we ran to the jars and stood on our tip toes reaching our arms down and into the jars to grab pure deliciousness.

“One at a time.” Her eyes would twinkle with that knowing smile that said she was fully aware we had already planned on going one by one through the jars as many times as our tummies would let us. No one made cookies like Grandma.

I continued to chew my first bite, slowly, closing my eyes and enjoying the long lost taste of my Grandma’s cookies. I never expected all that from a gluten free ginger cookie from a local bakery. I secretly was glad we bought a bag of cookies and not just one. I knew that the second cookie would allow Grandma to stay with me a little longer.

I miss my Grandma.  Eating this cookie right now makes me feel close to her. I would stand on a chair next to her counter and roll the dough into little balls between my palms, mimicking her movements. Then we’d drop them in the little dish and roll them in sugar making them sparkle. The cracks on the cookie made me remember how we would push the cookie dough balls down, just right, with the bottom of a glass. She’d put them in her oven and then we would sit at her kitchen table waiting, a cold glass of milk on standby.

All of those years of memories came from one cookie. I'm so thankful.

What memory have you eaten lately? 

Happy New Year!

As I write this, I am battling a case of bronchitis and because of that, the last few days and nights I have had breathing on my mind. In my inability to sleep or take a deep breath without coughing, I found myself remembering something that I had studied once. I remembered the word pneuma. It is a Greek word that biblically refers to the Holy Spirit or breath or wind.

Some of you can relate to the fact that although wonderful things happened in 2013, there were also moments of sadness and heartbreak as well. Regardless, my prayer is that the areas of our hearts that feel deadened by the pains of life would feel the fresh wind of the Holy Spirit breathe upon us.  We all have areas within us that can rejoice, but we also have areas that mourn and are saddened by the unfairness and uncertainties of life. 

Dear friends and family, we pray hope over you and for you. May you experience the life that He breathes into the darkest of places when you put your faith in His love. 

Jesus knew this world would offer us joy and heartbreak. Before he died and was resurrected he told those who loved him, “the Helper, the Holy Spirit (pneuma), whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” Luke 14:26-27.

I know I often find myself wondering why God does or allows the things that happen. As we can see in the verse above, Jesus was not unaware of how the world works or what our hearts response would be to what it offers us. He knew we would wonder why, that we would not automatically find ourselves at peace, and that we would have troubled hearts and would be afraid. But He has sent a helper, the Holy Spirit, pneuma…

And that is a reason for hope.

From my home to yours,

Be blessed and breathe deep the love of God in 2014.